My sense of discernment was right on target.
The next day, my husband was driving the nine hours to join us when he suddenly realized what had happened:
After he hung up with me, he went into the restaurant. He got a phone call from Kim telling him she was running late because she got out of her bikini wax appointment late. (“Really?”) He thought that a little odd that she would offer that information, but just let it go.
Twenty minutes later, Kim showed up, dressed in a mini-skirt. They had lunch. As lunch came to a close, Kim asked my husband what he wanted to do next. He said he was probably going to walk around the mall for a while and kill time since the movers had taken everything and the house was completely empty.
Brushing it off, he looked at her and said, “Why would we do that, there is nothing there. No TV, or furniture, nothing.”
Kim said, “So?”
Without missing a beat and completely ignorant of the implied proposition, he answered “Because it would be boring!”
She just reluctantly replied, “Yeah, you’re right.” They finished lunch, said their goodbyes, and Kim was gone.
He had completely missed her advance.
He basically walked blindly over the mine that she had planted and didn’t realize it until the next day while he was driving. He was the Mr. Magoo of husbands that day – innocently walking along and blindly missing the hazards all around. But in the car and now miles away from the danger, it was if God removed the blindfold. As soon as he put all the pieces together, he called me right away. I think he was so flabbergasted that Kim was bold enough to offer him an opportunity to cheat on me.(And shocked that I predicted it.)
As we discussed this, we both realized that my two hours of praying had protected him from seeing the temptation in front of him. It is possible to be faced with temptation and be supernaturally ignorant to it. If you know The Lord’s Prayer in the Bible (Matthew 6:9-13), there is a part that says “…and lead us not into temptation.” I think God protectively blinds us sometimes. It is one way He answers our “Lead us not in into temptation” prayer. That protection had allowed my husband to get out of a situation without making a scene or embarrassing anyone. I believe God answered my prayer that day. But I still was angry.
I wasn’t angry at my husband. I was angry at her.
Her actions proved how little respect she had for our children and me. But it also proved how broken she was. As my husband and I talked on the phone during his drive, he could hear the anger in my voice. And as we talked, he reminded me of his love and that the danger was gone.
Although it was hard to hear his realization, it was vitally important that he told me. Because he was open about what happened we learned several things that would have been lost. First, we learned that my discernment was not inaccurate and that I can be a valuable alarm for dangerous situations. Second, and more importantly, we learned that God answers prayers.
Communicating everything (even the hard things) is what keeps the trust and integrity in a marriage. Not being open and honest breaks down that trust and integrity. That’s pretty obvious. What isn’t so obvious is that poor communication also forfeits the strengths and benefits you share by being together.
What are your thoughts?
- Tell us how you discovered that good communication greatly improved your marriage?
- Has frequent and honest communication ever saved your marriage from trouble or danger?
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