My husband set up boundaries so that he would not be in any situation where she could talk to him about sex or any other personal topics. She seemed to respect the fact that I was his wife and tried to get to know me and our kids. During those two years, I discovered she was a woman who was hurting. Her father was emotionally absent during her younger years and she sought out relationships with men to try to fill the hole that he had left.
Time to move on.
My husband’s time in the military came to an end and we decided to sell our home and move. Our last few months became a whirlwind of activity as we tried to navigate our transition to civilian life. We had to coordinate a state-to-state move, sale of our home, purchase of our new home and starting our oldest in kindergarten.
All of that meant that I had to travel ahead of my husband to get our kids settled while he finished tying up all the ends of our military life. Separation was not new to us. We were used to it and had a system. Communication was always VERY important part of being apart. It was better to over-communicate than under communicate.
During his last few days, his colleagues gave him a farewell party that Kim did not attend.
What I didn’t know was that she offered to take him out to lunch as a rain check. She wanted to say goodbye and thanks for being a great friend. On his way to meeting her, he gave me a quick call to update me on the house closing that was happening the next day. During the conversation he mentioned that he was on his way to meet Kim for lunch.
I was unaware that they had scheduled a lunch; I started to panic. I had a horrible sense that something was not right. I told him that I did not want him to meet her for lunch and he needed to cancel.
Stunned, my husband could not understand my reaction. He had just pulled into the restaurant and did not have time to cancel it. He apologized that he hadn’t told me earlier and reassured me that she was just being nice. He reminded me that they were in a public place so there was no way she would try anything. With that reassurance, he told me he loved me and that he would call me after lunch.
I began to cry…and pray.
For two hours I paced and cried and prayed. I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t explain it. I could feel it in my whole being. For two hours I prayed. I prayed that nothing would happen. I prayed that my husband would be faithful. I prayed that he would not be tempted. I prayed as if my marriage depended on it. I prayed because I knew God was bigger than the mine and only God could guide him through the minefield.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it…I called him.
When he answered the phone I practically bit his head off. He was at the mall…alone. He told me that they had lunch and when they finished, she left and he went to the mall.
Now it was my turn to be stunned.
Why had I been so worked up about a lunch? Nothing had happened. My mind started criticizing me for being a paranoid wife. I felt foolish. I couldn’t understand why I had such a strong, physical reaction to the whole situation. Had my sense of discernment faded? Was I slowly going insane?
Turns out, my sense of discernment was on target… to be continued…
- Have you ever had to pray as if your life or marriage depended on it? Did it help?
- Do you pray for protection over your marriage? Why or why not?
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