A Hug is Not Just a Hug to Him: More Love Language Advice

I know what makes him tick.

kasanieI know what makes him feel special and needed and desired and loved.  I KNOW these things.  Why can’t I just do them?  I have known about this struggle of mine for a while now.  Years even https://manlig-halsa.se/vad-ar-cialis/.  My husband likes affection.  No, I don’t just mean sex.  I know he likes that. He needs a hug, a touch on the shoulder, my hand on his hand, a kiss on his head as I pass by him.  Why can’t I do that for him?  It’s so simple, right?  Ugh.  Is there something wrong with me?  I don’t have any repressed issues from my past nor am I dealing with any issues that I am aware of.  Am I just not wired that way?  Maybe.  But that’s not really the issue.  What’s important is that my husband IS wired that way.  He likes affection.  He feels strong, masculine and cared for by his woman when he receives that kind of love expression from me. It fills his love tank. If you haven’t yet read The 5 Love Languages then you need to. You and your spouse should go online and take the test. It’s free and it makes a huge difference in your marriage.

The book explains very clearly how we each give and receive love.  5LLcover-128Chances are, you aren’t wired the same way that your spouse is.  Surprise! This makes communication and seeing eye to eye kind of tough.  My primary love language is service. When my husband does things for me out of the kindness of his heart I feel loved.  When I come home from work and the dishes are done and the counter is cleaned off  – I feel loved.  Appreciated.  When the laundry basket is not sitting in the middle of the living room floor where I left it, I feel loved, BONUS love is when the laundry is put away!  BAM!  When my husband puts gas in my car if he drives it, I feel loved.  Service.

Service is also, naturally, how I give him love.  I do things for him.  Small things. I clean the dishes, have dinner ready, get our son to his activities, make weekend plans that he would enjoy, make our bed every morning.  You know what, those are all services that I would love, not so much my husband.  He is not always receiving of my love in that way.

We don’t have the same primary love language. If you and your spouse are on different channels, go find out what their primary love language is.  I pray that God would give me the attitude of love for my spouse every day.  Love is a choice and I need to choose to love my spouse daily.  But if I keep choosing to love him the way I need to be loved then I’ll keep missing the mark.

Love languages are real and once you learn to speak your spouses’ language your love life will change.  Ask God to help you change your heart for your spouse.

If you could express love to your spouse spot on, every day, wouldn’t you? Isn’t it worth it?

The 5 Love Languages Trailer from Dr. Gary Chapman on Vimeo.

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About Marci Stevens

Marci is a wife, mother, speaker and blogger. She is also a co-founder of a powerful non-profit, award-winning marriage ministry, Marriage Pressure Points. Marci writes about her own struggles as a wife in hopes that God will continue to offer her grace and use her testimony to help others.

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