I know what makes him tick.
I know what makes him feel special and needed and desired and loved. I KNOW these things. Why can’t I just do them? I have known about this struggle of mine for a while now. Years even. My husband likes affection. No, I don’t just mean sex. I know he likes that. He needs a hug, a touch on the shoulder, my hand on his hand, a kiss on his head as I pass by him. Why can’t I do that for him? It’s so simple, right? Ugh. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t have any repressed issues from my past nor am I dealing with any issues that I am aware of. Am I just not wired that way? Maybe. But that’s not really the issue. What’s important is that my husband IS wired that way. He likes affection. He feels strong, masculine and cared for by his woman when he receives that kind of love expression from me. It fills his love tank. If you haven’t yet read The 5 Love Languages then you need to. You and your spouse should go online and take the test. It’s free and it makes a huge difference in your marriage.
The book explains very clearly how we each give and receive love. Chances are, you aren’t wired the same way that your spouse is. Surprise! This makes communication and seeing eye to eye kind of tough. My primary love language is service. When my husband does things for me out of the kindness of his heart I feel loved. When I come home from work and the dishes are done and the counter is cleaned off – I feel loved. Appreciated. When the laundry basket is not sitting in the middle of the living room floor where I left it, I feel loved, BONUS love is when the laundry is put away! BAM! When my husband puts gas in my car if he drives it, I feel loved. Service. Continue reading